Literature

The Guide to Rose

Published May 26th of 2024 on the 1-year anniversary of the “Rose” single, this official guide breaks down the literary, sonic, visual, and promotional engineering of the “Rose” album. Each section is dedicated to one single and contains an overview of its story in the context of the album as well as an analysis of its lyrics, music, production, marketing materials and cover art. All content corresponding with the “Rose” album, including all sound recordings, musical works, text works, visual works, audiovisual works, and this passage itself, are subject to the copyright ownership of Thomas Bernard Howard.


Rose

The single “Rose”, released 5/26/2023 as Chapter 1, is the description of a recurring dream brought on by one bittersweet night. There were evergreens outside their window, some potted plants on their deck, and a treasure I couldn’t have for long, so I dreamt of a lush garden surrounded by iron gates to which I lacked the key. This became my pathway to themes of love and nature, but eventually it led to a soft bed of flowers where seven stories, like pedals of a rose, could be born. As I would later say to him – “Maybe you have more of a green thumb than you realize”.

“Rose”, the song, is a balanced introduction to the rustic soundscape of the album. The song uses basic language to nourish a more visceral connection to the dream being illustrated, where there is a shortlived romantic rendezvous in a glowing forest. The mix evokes distance, longing and mystery with breathy holds, dense reverb and tritones. The release of the single was greeted by early blooming roses in May of 2023.

Here I am in this place
Here you are with no face
In the grass, like we’re friends
But we won’t meet again

With deconstructed guitar melody and staggered rhythm, the opening stanza quickly establishes the setting of an inquisitive picnic that is not a new occurrence. The subject is anonymous – “has no face” – because, in real life, they weren’t around for long. The stanza resolves with a descending background vocal that adds an almost meta layer of drama.

Trees all around are so green
Rustling as our hearts beat
Everything pounds altogether
Never felt this way ever

One of the most integral aspects of the dream was how vividly green the environment was, and how it appeared to react to the love affair. Dissonance escalates with pads and a sporadic guitar instrumental as time is meant to stop, and the stanza lyrically builds to a climax that paves the way for a woeful chorus.

All I want is to
Have you in full bloom and
Hold you in my hand just
Please don’t leave again

The chorus washes over the rest like the throes of heartbreak, with the main guitar melody as the guide. Lustful innuendo about a blooming flower and a plea for connection leads the way to a bittersweet end. This is the story of “Rose” captured in two sentences, the romance and the heartbreak.

Then I wait where we were
Maybe then you’d return
Seasons change, all undone
But we had just begun

In the dream, the party is eventually confronted by a locked gate. Only his partner, who has disappeared, possesses the key to nature. He waits there for his partner to return, but the seasons around him change until it is no longer the same. As with the first stanza, this one resolves with a sympathetic descent of notes in the background of the mix, almost like a musical sigh.

How could I ever be free
If not where we were in the leaves
How can I find any treasure
With yours beyond any measure

This stanza reflects on having experienced the best nature has to offer, and the subsequent pain of feeling disconnected from it, again with instrumental dissonance for emphasis, like in the second stanza. The chorus then plays again before crossing into the bridge.

I’ve asked you politely to
please come and guide me
Where are you hiding
I shouldn’t be fighting

The bridge connects a story of love and heartbreak with themes of sexual frustration, loss, and inner conflict. This is not just a conflict between two individuals, but a conflict with nature itself, someone feeling as though what they deserve is not theirs. A caesura follows to create isolation, and at its end, there is the same descent of vocal notes that occurred two times prior, but two octaves higher, starting from E6. This adds a layer of whimsy to the existing theme of nature and is also a nod to previous audiences that were more accustomed to whistle tones and a more dynamic vocal style. The chorus then plays one more time, and with that, “Rose” ends.

The release of “Rose” was accompanied by video content made from scratch to create a visual parallel for the song. These three videos compile imagery of foliage, roses and of the muse of a song, a brunette in the buff, to create a direct window into the dream. In the first video, a man appears in various forest scenes that snap to black, ending in a glimpse of two prominent roses. In the second, the roses multiply. A hand offers one to a love interest facing a rosebush, before the stem disappears and the bloom is hastily captured. A gigantic bloom rotates into view, followed by a frame of a nude man whose modesty is covered by a rose to eliminate any mistake as to what the roses mean. The third video incorporates a charming Marco Polo of song and video, with the incomplete lyrics as text and the video finishing the sentence with a bombardment of subliminal imagery. Men are strewn throughout the wilderness, some in compromising positions, and an oppressive wall makes itself known. As the score toggles on the notes E and G, these clips flash like memories and the subconscious, culminating in a climax that represents the brutal but beautiful chaos of nature.

The “Rose” cover art is a self-portrait captured in a suburban backyard, cropped and doctored to create the impression it is somewhere else. This pairs with the psychological nature of the story, where a special place was synthesized from the mundane. Several abstract aspects also allow it to serve as the entrance to the dream. Only the left side of the subject’s face is shown, with the rest of the composition being spiraling hair and foliage, like the hair itself is a flower. His left eye, distorted by motion, is scornful and seductive at the same time. A mysterious flower in bloom, this is the vision of “Rose”.

Accompanying the release of “Rose” was the following poem, tying its theme and release month together:

In May of 1913, the premiere of a musical work written for Spring was controversial. Audiences were upset because it went against their concept of the season. Perhaps they were correct in their instinct. However, equally natural is the sentiment that making oneself feel nothing, so as to avoid feeling anything, is a waste. A flower in bloom is the rain of April and the rot of September. This May, for better and for worse, something beautiful is born.
Chapter 1: Rose.


Flame

“Flame”, released on the numerical inversion of “Rose” on 6/25/2023 as Chapter 2, follows “Rose” in the way wildfires follow forests, typically of the arid variety. After my heart died, “Flame” unfurled from me like a backdraft with nothing to hold it back, something long stored in me about nine years earlier. When I open that door, I remember seeing rainbows and happy faces everywhere. And then I saw something that I should not have seen. Something hideous, twisted, atrocious. Something that clearly didn’t belong. And when I looked at my neighbors again—I saw that they were still smiling. It was then that I realized I was the one who didn’t belong. How could rainbows, of all things in the world, not be a place for Light—for me?

“Flame”, as the sophomore single, carries on and refines the sonic architecture of the album. However, despite its sound, it is, by far, the most sinister. This is because it is engineered in two radically different points of view simultaneously. One is a boy who believes that sunshine and rainbows go together. The other, smoldering just under the surface, is a young man taught that they do not—or even worse: that they can. The lyrics are phrased so that, at any point in the song, it can go either way. Low-oscillating synth emphasizes moments that aren’t sincere, and musical motifs and messages litter the score.

I remember that day when
I was on my way, then
I Was surprised to see you
There

The song recounts an event from the past. This can illustrate someone who is reminiscing on a positive experience, and it can just as easily illustrate someone who was blindsided by a very unwelcome intrusion. The delivery of the word “I”, on E, is lower and darker than the surrounding context to create suspense, and flips into the word “was” on a tritone as the aforementioned synth rings.

I had never felt that and
Something in my head
Told Me that from then on I’d be
Here

Continuing with the trend, this can either mean someone was grateful to have found their niche, or that they knew their life had been impacted for the worse, such that they’d be imprisoned there, in the past, by trauma. The words “told” and “me” have the same place in pitch and time as the words “I” and “was” in the previous verse. The verse ends, and two notes toggle quietly, harboring an inaudible message. Then an doorbell-esque motif, a Judeo-Christian chime Western culture uses everywhere, provides an ironic precursor to the chorus across the notes F-A-G-C.

Sunshine and rainbows
Don’t they go together and
I’ll show the world
With my Light your true colors

The chorus, strumming sentimentally from F to C major against some dissonance created by the main melody, can celebrate harmony and the goodness it brings out in a person, or, it can be menacing, with the colors of the rainbow being synonymous with the “true colors” of malicious character, and sunshine representing cleansing fire. The chorus is celebratory, distraught and incensed all at once, delivered with subtle intensity that uniquely characterizes “Flame”.

How could I come with Pride
With you there by my side
Like My faithful companion

This can describe someone feeling humbled by the beauty of the community they are part of, such that they could not possibly step forward with ego, or it can describe someone is being stalked by something that ruins their every waking moment, such that they cannot take Pride in anything. “Pride” is capitalized for a specific reason.

Maybe we should go and
Light a match for our friends
And Toast all the love we have

Carrying on the tradition, this stanza is two-faced. It can be someone’s wish to commemorate the community they are part of, or it can be someone’s wish to burn the lie that it always was to the ground. In this example, there is a particularly audacious and sarcastic call for a “toast” that can refer to two different definitions of the word. Then the chorus is approached in the same manner as before, with a barely audible message buried beneath toggling notes, except a few decibels louder, and the doorbell chime.

Sunshine and rainbows
Don’t they go together
And I’ll show the world
With my Light your true colors

The ensuing chorus is a new recording, as opposed to a duplicate, that contributes more vocal body and presence in the delivery, to suggest that the truth draws nearer.

I’ll give you Light that you gave to me
I’ll show you Light that you made in me

The bridge, like everything else in the song, can go both ways. Reciprocating someone’s kindness can mean anything, depending on how kind they were. For the kindhearted, this is wonderful. For the evil, it isn’t. The “Light”, capitalized throughout the song, shines brightest here in its true meaning. An eerie instrumental interlude follows this stanza, quickly followed by the previous secret message that is now a barely audible whisper. The chorus plays two more times, sorrowful strings surface in the production, and distant vocal belts portray someone screaming at the sky. The fearsome angel, the bringer of holy judgement, erupts in its true fiery glory, cleansing everything in his Light to answer the supreme capital offense that was rainbow, of all, rejecting his presence. His solution is efficient – to Hell with you all, the message whispered twice before each friendly doorbell. “Flame” is an angel hellbent on retribution, hiding in sunshine and rainbows just like those who deceived him long ago.

The release of “Flame” was accompanied by 6 videos made from scratch to create a visual parallel for the song. It begins with a shot rotating out of tree canopies into an urban setting, as though “Rose” was a daydream within a mundane urban park, the universe of “Flame”. After exploring this setting and alluding to events of the past, the fourth of six videos ascends from the skyscrapers into the true meaning of the song, showing glimpses of planets, angels and holy fire. The text eventually illuminates, sparks spray across the screen, and amid the chaos, the true form of “Flame” finally reveals itself, a wailing angel. Throughout the six videos are phrases in orange text against a black screen. ‘Un-focusing’ the eyes will reveal that behind the orange text were roaring flames the entire time – the truth in plain sight, in the style of the song. The marketing campaign for “Flame” was accompanied by a statement that clarified its March inception due to world events that coincided with its later release. These were the wildfires that ravaged the North American continent in the summer of 2023 and stained the Manhattan skyline orange.

The “Flame” cover art is a mixed-media rendition of a self-portrait, with only the forehead shown. In an otherwise drab urban setting, red hair flares upward inexplicably like fire and blends with blinding light rays, and dark, smoldering eyes watch from below. It is supernatural and ominous, a perfect mascot for the ambiguous anthem, and an incandescent sequel to its arboreal ancestor.

Accompanying the release of “Flame” was the following poem, tying its theme and release month together: Sunny days bring joy. In June, they may even build rainbow bridges. So, where in the world is Light, if not in rainbows?
Chapter 2: Flame


Diamond

“Diamond”, released 7/28/2023 as Chapter 3, follows “Flame” like a mineral born of immense heat. “Diamond” specifically focuses on refined diamonds, and, of course, those of the rarest variety—red. The experiences that sculpt this song are like the facets of a turning diamond, with “Flame” being but one of many burned into my mind. These memories rotate around me like a slow dance and scrutinizing spotlights all at once. In this kaleidoscope, I reflect on the right of passage of being special and the price of beauty. Behind the introspective veneer, however, the song contains a sarcastic edge. A photographer once said that there are worse things in the world than having a beautiful penis. From that angle, I am mocking the individuals who would seek to sabotage a cut diamond or dull its shine, taking a misplaced character of denial and grief some have fabricated into a dance. It is said that a healthy brain is quick to respond with sarcasm. Oh, woe is me. I’m so pretty.

“Diamond” carries on the slow, cinematic tradition of the previous installments, but adds a contemporary element as the ‘beauty queen’ of the album. Riffing off the specularity of diamonds, the song constructs a fractal, melodramatic characteristic with repeated 8th notes, glimmering piano notes, electronic pads, and piercing 'ringing' throughout the track.

Since I was young I
Would catch your eye I'm
Shiny
So shiny

Following a melancholy piano melody, the first stanza introduces a character who has always been unique. It sticks to the theme of diamonds as he describes himself as shiny, almost too shiny for his own good.

I thought that gems were
Sought after, no you're
Lying
You're lying
'Cause

The melody moves upward to create an interaction. The irony of the phrase ‘uncut gems’ is that its meaning in culture makes it oxymoronic. What makes gems particularly valuable is their cut. Uncut gems are, objectively, less valuable, and more common. This stanza questions those who confuse the two. However, it is also the beginning of an internal dialogue in the song, where the character is questioning himself as a consequence of continued scrutiny.

I'm so pretty it
Makes you hate me
I'm so pretty I'm
Almost breaking

In a tone that taunting and lamenting, the character complains that the hatred he receives for his beauty is almost too much too bear. Guitar arpeggios from C major to A minor use a familiar progression, and contemporary production drops on the word “pretty”, creating the classic yet unique quality of the track. A vocal slide is used in the delivery of the word “pretty” to convey captivation and sorrow at the same time, while the instrumental lingers on a B note to create a minor second.

But sparkles show when
Gems are cut in
Diamonds
In diamonds

The character continues the cut versus uncut diamond discourse, citing that diamonds sparkle in their most iconic way only when they are cut.

Even so I find
My Light is dying
Dying
I'm dying
But

He admits that, despite his merits, the criticism is beginning to succeed at dulling his shine. The word “Light”, which is capitalized, is a reference to the previous song, “Flame”, as a cue that the context of “Diamond” is actually relevant to events of the past alluded to in “Flame”.

I'm so pretty it
Makes you hate me
I'm so pretty you
Might just break me

The chorus returns, this time with dramatic percussion. Snare drums emulate a funeral procession, and cymbals mimic the high-pitched sound of glass or crystal cracking as the song approaches its finale. The character who has complained of being so pretty that it is destroying him is now beginning to fall apart. The ending of the last line “…I’m almost breaking” being swapped out with “…You might just break me” also adds a sensual texture to the dialogue.

I'm so pretty that
You must hate me
It can't be that
I'm just empty

The bridge approaches like a thunderstorm in A minor with an ample suspension note, the light and dark sonically and lyrically clashing in a final showdown. The words “Makes you” in the chorus have been replaced with “You must”, implying that the character is now trying to convince himself he is hated, because the alternative – that he is not envied at all – is too painful a reality to bear. Although it is not true that he is not envied, the narrative has now been drilled into his mind. However, this can also speak to a more universal dialogue about a lack of accountability, where people don’t want to believe that they are the problem when they are.

I'm so pretty it
Makes you hate me
I'm so pretty I'm
Almost breaking

The chorus repeats one more time with a crescendo in its score before giving way to an instrumental outro that meditates on the journey. “Diamond”, the most conventional song on the album, is a form of satire created in light of an absurd, topical dialogue that seeks to create problems where there are none, but it also carries a kernel of truth. Moaning obnoxiously about its own beauty, it is the petty antithesis of what its critics want. Sometimes being the best does, sincerely, hurt.

The release of “Diamond” was accompanied by six videos made from scratch to create a visual parallel for the song. It begins with a shot pulling away from a fireplace, as though “Flame” was a daydream in a lavish venue, the universe of “Diamond”. It goes on to survey a room that could be a dance, a theatre, a club, or some combination of the three, then transitions into glinting diamonds. There are a few blatant shots of diamonds before the fourth video reveals the true meaning of the song and they occupy the male form. Sculpted men flash on the screen like a photoshoot. The carousel of crystal becomes increasingly chaotic until the fifth video, made for the bridge of the song, casts everything in darkness. The studio lights are now a thunderstorm representing the conflict behind the curtain, and then, in the sixth and final video, it all comes down. The room the story began in is now cold and dark in comparison, there is a shot of a slender man in a fetal position, and fragments rain from above, presumably from something that has shattered, revealing one final shot of a hexagonal stone.

The “Diamond” cover art is a mixed-media rendition of a self-portrait, with the face shown, but the eyes concealed, symbolizing the bliss of ignorance. A choker crystallizes uncomfortably around the neck. A disconcerting crack travels across the face. Dreamy lights litter the negative space, suggesting a stage despite the ordeal. Dazzling and disturbed, this is the depiction of “Diamond”.

Accompanying the release of “Diamond” was the following poem, tying its theme and release month together: In July, fireworks honor greatness. They illuminate the night sky in spite of those who may seek to dim its shine, like gems that are cut brilliantly reflect Light.
Chapter 3: Diamond


Blood

“Blood”, released 8/31/2023 as Chapter 4, follows “Diamond” like the blood spilled for precious items— stones, prestige, power. After I made it through the maze of mirrors and could finally see my true reflection, I realized just how special I was. People didn’t just hate me. They were willing to steal from me. They had stolen so much that, for the longest time, I was unable to distinguish the red sea I stood upon. Instances of stolen opportunity, stolen art, and stolen dreams spanned as far as the eye could see. I became incensed. Before this song, I never knew I had the capacity to take it all back.

"Blood”, the fourth installment, marks the middle and the crescendo to the album. If “Diamond” was the more composed beauty queen of the album, its successor is like Carrie, an unhinged diatribe. Written in the key of B, it is a seven-minute monster brandishing a double-chorus, throaty bass vocals, rich percussion and dense lyrics meant to capture the richness of blood. It is the only explicit song on the album. Although bound by the sonic guardrails of the album, it is reckless and rampaging by comparison.

I love giving it away
Donating to those who may
In life truly
Need it

Even though you may be in
Perfect health I’ll take the pin
Because you’ll always
Need it
But

The track starts with some piano arpeggios as a loose nod to Schubert’s and Gounod’s “Ave Maria”. These swell in a distorted manner before zipping into the stanzas. The first two use an analogy about donating blood to set the stage for the subject of plagiarism, with a minimalist, bell-tone score building suspense. People in perfect health do not need medical donations, hinting that the blood isn’t being donated, but stolen. The lethargic segment moves along as though it is asleep, before ending in a terse piano note on the word “but” and launching into a faster-paced hook.

I should let you know that
Those who take the most have
Most to be taken back

The prelude to the chorus provides a playful caveat about theft. The guitar, EQ’d brightly to mimic a harpsichord, swoops in with dominant seventh chords and a carnival-like sound. Musically and lyrically, this speaks in riddles like a jester would. Like it is true that the bigger someone is, the harder they fall, it is true that the more they take, the more they have to be taken back. For those who are honest, this isn’t a problem. However, for those who steal, it is a grave threat. The first glimpses of percussion appear, occurring as faint pulses on the words “know” and “most”, as though something terrible is stirring.

Blood
Be hollow Be
Cause God knows that
All you are you stole
No

I'll need more but
It won't hurt 'cause
It's "just" flesh and bone

Blood
What happens be
Low the sea when
You poke out a hole
“Oh”

Don't blame me be
Cause your peabrain
Said no one would know

A long hold on the world “blood” that slides down like seeping blood calls in the chorus, and percussion punctuates each syllable and passing second like a heartbeat in the pitch of B. At this point, the song has awoken from its slumber. The chorus begins on the word “Be”, which is a play on words for the note it is sung in – B. There are two harmonious vocals, one a low, lumbering B1, and the other, a breathy B3, more characteristic of the shoegaze style. The intention behind this harmony was to create the impression that a large beast, a herculean, red guardian, is reluctantly singing along with his more diminutive master, adding to the humor of the song. This is not at all a demon of satanic affiliation, but of the challenges, the demons, within oneself, hence it being composed of blood. From there, it goes up the major scale in a manner reminiscent of “Do-Re-Mi” from The Sound of Music to create a hilarious juxtaposition of melody and lyrics. The hills are certainly alive, but not with the sound of happy music. “Be hollow” refers to spilling one’s guts, emptying themselves of everything that isn’t theirs. It can also be used interchangeably with the word “hallow”, to be made Holy. Certainly, individuals with lies and evil within them cannot be made Holy. This paints a very gruesome, not-so-green picture for particularly flagrant offenders who “take the most” and shamelessly lie about their crimes. The next line addresses the lies, assuring any assailant that God bears witness no matter what. This takes the position of the only other harmony in the chorus, meant to enshrine key phrases. Only the almighty could judge this misdemeanor. In fact, it is such a severe violation that the recompense is less superficial than skin and bone. The word “just” creates a hypothesis surrounding how unsavory individuals pass away their acts as insignificant. If stealing someone’s blood, sweat and tears is “just” a little act and shouldn’t hurt, then neither should snatching it back with great prejudice. There is some instrumental dissonance on the phrase “it won’t hurt”, meant to capture the searing pain of being torn apart. This sets the arena for the second half of the chorus, an inadvertently timely metaphor about catastrophic implosions. Earlier in the year 2023, when this was originally written into the song, the aim behind the symbolism was to convey the force with which the universe would reclaim all that was stolen, like immeasurable atmosphere differences below the sea. It also continues to mock the convicted and their belief that their actions have no consequences, insinuating they have no common sense. “Oh”, quoted, is their live reaction to the outcome. Due to a concern that audiences would misconstrue the submarine bit as a profane reference made to the Oceangate tragedy that would coincidentally occur shortly thereafter, the release of “Blood” included a disclaimer about its earlier date of inception, similarly to the release of “Flame”. The chorus ends abruptly on the word “know”, as though a violent event occurred mid-sentence, and with that, the reign of the first chorus ceases.

OK so I might have lied
Take my art, I'll take your eyes
'Cause you are not
Worthy

Why can't you just come up with
New ideas you little shits
But no you have to
Take it
But

For the remainder of the song, the gloves are off. Equal parts bitter and hilarious, the two stanzas in the center of the song are a crass departure from the chorus. They denigrate the culprits directly in condescending staccato and call them “little shits” who are too stupid to come up with their own ideas. In an eye-for-an-eye analogy, there is an understated but elegant run in the background vocal for comedic effect.

I should let you know that
Those who take the most have
Most to be
Taken back

The same hook returns. Nothing has changed to accentuate the two-faced nature of the lyrics, with exception to percussion playing on every syllable this time since the beast has long since awakened, and an upper harmony on the phrases “you know that” and “the most have”.

Blood
Tell you what
You little slut I
Think I'll cut a deal

I'll take what only
What you owe
And leave whatever's real

Blood
Don't you dare try
With that fake cry
We know you can't feel

After all, if
You weren't caught
You wouldn't shed a tear

The chorus returns with a vengeance and gets to business, with the first verse proposing a deal, on brand for the creative industry. The phrase “little slut”, ornamented outrageously by a triangle, is the only other instance of profanity in the song and calls out the distinctly feminine, materialistic presence that has done the most damage—influencers, industry leaders, and maybe even pop stars. The proposition is simple: retrieving all that doesn’t belong. The fine print, of course, is that this isn’t a very good agreement for those who don’t have an ounce of original material to them. The second section addresses the crocodile tears. Accompanying the line “with that fake cry” is a shrill B5 vocal, a siren-like charade that disarms those who use self-victimization to avoid accountability. Suffice it to say, the song came prepared. This final act reveals that “Blood” as a whole was a contract from the beginning, written in blood. It was never a negotiation. The track closes with the same pleasant arpeggios and an up-closeand-personal vocal, like a whisper in the ear. In the end, this bloody history of being screwed amalgamates into resentful feelings towards the crucifixion, the ultimate and true instance of someone, and another Jew, being sacrificed for everyone else. This song protests the principle that someone should prosper at someone else’s expense, especially in this day and age where all people seem to do is take- take creative work, confidence, culture, even countries. And yet, one might say that, in its rebellion, it follows in his fate. After all, he, too, went against the grain.

The release of “Blood” was accompanied by video content made from scratch to create a visual parallel for the song. It begins with a shot of rotating red diamond phasing into stained glass, as though “Diamond” was a daydream within a church, the universe of “Blood”. The blooming cathedral gives way to red flashes in the dark, followed by red lipstick and a red bowtie, because the Light of justice doesn’t discriminate. The second video has a few prolonged shots of the cathedral, illustrating the eye-for-an-eye analogy. The third video surveys more of the cathedral, which begins to glow with temptation. Then the statues, loyal automatons, animate, triggered by the intrusion. The remaining three videos represent the choruses of the song and create a metaphor of land, sea, and sky, because, at this point, there is no escape. In the fourth video, green hills come alive with crimson subliminal imagery because “God knows” of the crimes that have been committed. Then the rebellion begins, led by ruthless disciples now stained by blood. The filth videos plunges into a red sea where a couple cameos enact the events leading to catastrophic implosion, a metaphor written into the song February of 2023. A special camera provides a look into what preceded the event, with nondescript ditsy women getting a little too close for comfort with their curious smartphones. In the sixth and last video, even the sky is stained red. Statues continue in their pursuit and a siren sounds—the “fake cry” described in the lyrics, dubbed with pink text to allude to the identity of the subject. Then statues rotate on the words “we know you can’t feel” with different eyes, one with his eyes closed, one with blackout eyes, one with white eyes, and the last, with normal eyes, to display that they are equipped to see through anything. They return for one last round before giving way to credits. A strong roman-catholic influence pervades these videos as a symbol of subversion. It was under Tiberius’ reign, for example, that Jesus was crucified, and under Hadrian’s that Jews were disconnected from their indigenous homeland. Usurping the aesthetic of their crusades undermines them.

The “Blood” cover art is a mixed-media rendition of a self-portrait with the entire face blacked out. An abyss of pure contempt bleeds into a billowing mane of blood red hair, and behind the ghostly silhouette is a old-world setting, like the risen sailing down a corridor with renewed conviction. God only knows what becomes of a world with the beast of judgement released. This is the painting of “Blood”.

ccompanying the release of “Blood” was the following poem, tying its theme and release month together: Although August is named after the creation of an empire and its grand conquests, the celebration may want to wait. The grass is not green, the seas are not blue, and not even the sky; they are red, red with all you owe me. Chapter 4: Blood


Lucy

“Lucy”, released 9/28/2023 as Chapter 5, follows “Blood” as a somber reminder of the things that, unlike earthly aspirations and items, have infinite value. Although I have conquered ugly, terrible foes, few compared to when there was no enemy at all, to when there was only loss. The silence was so deafening that it took years to hear her calling me. When I finally did, I dedicated the song to my dear Lucy, who would call to me from the other side of the door when she was there. In this memorial, I answer her.

Lucy was a piece of work. Her memorial was no exception. “Lucy”, among the trickiest pieces on the album, presented one main challenge: designing a song that straddles both her legacy and the universal gravity of death. If it was just a song of mourning, it would be less about Lucy. And if it was just a happy song, it would trivialize the immensity of her absence. The solution was a matter of instinct. Beginning exactly where it ends in time, "Lucy" is an eternal lullaby crafted to feel like it could occupy the space between being awake and falling asleep – where she was when she was last held by her family. Sleepy arpeggios carry the song to an eventual crescendo of wind and heavy pads, representing the throes of grief and the mystery of death, settling as the song progresses. With the most grief-stricken section of the song flanked by an ongoing conversation, Lucy, and all of her experience, is captured.

Lucy, Lucy, you know I’ll always call
Lucy, can you hear me? Because I always heard
Lucy, my baby, I’ll always hold you my
Lucy, Lucy, I’ll always call you my

With the first word of each line starting in an affectionate major, and the next phrase shifting into mournful minor, the song honors both her and her passing. The first line is somewhat anxious and apologetic, offering assurance to Lucy, and perhaps even self-assurance, that she was and always will be heard. The next is the most distraught part of the song, where a wind instrument and ominous pad swell in the score. It calls to her and to death at the same time and reminisces on when she was there to be heard. The lines that follow maintain a space for her wherever she rests. As the final line approaches, the instrumentals diminish until only the voice remains, affording a suffocating sense of finality. The voice, too, begins to become distant. The last audible word in the song is “my”. Perhaps this is what it sounded like to her as her family whispered in her ear one last time. The final line doubles as two things– one, that she will always be known as Lucy, the one and only Lucy, and two, that she will always be called. She spent a good deal of her time calling to her family, and now her family will spend the rest of their time calling to her.

The release of “Lucy” was accompanied by six videos made from scratch to create a visual parallel for the song. It begins with a transition from stained glass to a starlit sky, as though “Blood” was a daydream in the constellations, the universe of “Lucy”. The next two videos are decidedly liminal, displaying disembodied imagery of skies and galaxies to create movement, as though the song is searching for Lucy. Having found her, the fourth video features brighter lights. The fifth is more tumultuous, with exploding skies echoing the call into the dark, and subsequent footage of her calling through the bedroom door when she was alive. Lastly, the sixth video is a greyscale gallery of the girl in question. Four special vignettes capture her essence. She cocks her head at a stem on the other side of the glass, she pouts bundled up in a blanket, she basks in the sun with bright whiskers, and then she falls asleep in a loving embrace.

The “Lucy” cover art is a mixed-media rendition of a family portrait of a man and his familiar, with her ear over his mouth. He whispers to her about all the wonderful things to come, and her eyes sparkle like the stars behind them. This is the illustration for Lucy and her legacy.

Accompanying the release of “Lucy” was the following poem, tying its theme and release month together: September is a month of memorial for many. Blue bridges extend into a sea of night stars, the sparkles in the eyes of those we loved. Chapter 5: Lucy


Star

“Star”, released 10/31/2023 as Chapter 6, follows the bridge that Lucy’s spirit raised into the universe, asking questions about time, hope, and whether the light we see in the night sky is that of shining stars or stars long gone. It was no coincidence that when I lost something truly precious to me, I became more conscious of my own mortality and place. They say many of the stars we see are the afterimages of expired stars shown to us by old light. As I watch my once vibrant, full red hair wane like hopes and dreams, I ask my aptly designated avatar, a star in the Red Giant phase of death, how much time I have left.

“Star” features a sine-pulse from start to finish to imitate a pulse monitor and nod loosely to the Interstellar soundtrack, which had easter eggs in its score marking the passage of time. In addition, some notes in the mix inspire morse code. These elements, paired with the auditory direction of the “Rose” album, create an almost hypnotic experience which lends itself to the premise of talking with the universe.

Red Star, how far am I
Is there time
Red star, how old am I
Do I shine

Red star, is that my Light
It's so bright
Red star, let me be right

The first verse appreciates the theory of relativity, but also the distance between dreams and reality. Perhaps dreams and reality have the same relationship time and space do, with hope as their gravity. The second, asking about age, is relative to the first. The third engages the higher self, and the last centers on hope. With a vocal melody and piano melody starting on B and E respectively and landing on C in unison, the song simulates the speaker and the star having a conversation unbeknownst to one another. During instrumental sections, the star answers back with the inversion of the melody, and minor seconds create eminence in the score. Eventually, the study is broken by suspense. A scifi-driven pad enters around halfway through, the vocals disappear after one long hold, and the instrumental is separated, illustrating a dark, vast void—man’s unanswered questions. The song ends in static, the same way it began, as though the entire experience was a short-lived radio signal from somewhere in deep space. Being about faith, it is only fitting for it to end on a cliffhanger. The circular beauty of the song is that, despite it being phrased in questions, there is never a question. The Red Giant, chosen in the image of the observer, is the observer. The universe is merely having a conversation with itself.

The release of “Star” was accompanied by six videos made from scratch to create a visual parallel for the song. It begins with static, the aura of Lucy’s memorial, then gives way to a red signal, pulsing in time until it erupts in red-orange light. The next two survey the universe, with appearances of a suspicious red orb. The last three use black text illuminated only by pulsing backlight to visualize the idea of hope. In the sixth video, the light shines its brightest on the phrase “let me be right”, dampening slowly until going out and sending the instrumental into the void, where there lurk credits like a secret message.

The “Star” cover art is a mixed-media rendition of a self-portrait, with only the right eye showing. With voluminous red hair flowing like solar flares, and a friendly, all-seeing eye, this is symbol of “Star”, the man in the sun, and the universe observing itself.

Accompanying the release of “Star” was the following poem, tying its theme and release month together: October casts a shadow, if only for a moment, like a costume, or an eclipse. When we look up into the night sky, is what we see true, or is it the light of what once was?
Chapter 6: Star


Guts

“Guts”, released 11/30/2023 as Chapter 7, follows “Star” as the product of stardust: our most carnal instincts. Nature is said to find the path of least resistance. Wandering through the elements, fire, stone, blood, love, and stars, brought me back to the forest. The truth, like basic desires, is often simple and right under our noses. This is my pathway to liberation.

"Guts" is a finale that draws from all of the previous installments, with intriguing intervals, modest guitar melodies, tempered percussion, sentimental low-oscillating synths, piercing piano notes, lyrical innuendo, and vocal extremes. It is also a spiritual cousin of the title single. "Rose" was about affection, emotional and physical. "Guts", a hedonistic anthem written in G major, inherits the latter and uses it as a gateway to freedom. Represented by dark red and bright pink roses respectively, they flank the album and serve as a point of reference for the journey.

Do you remember when we thought
That we deserve all we should want
So we learned just to let it lie
Lest we should even dare to try
But

The opening stanza mourns a lack of connection to nature so severe that someone might forget what their purpose is, such that it becomes controversial to even desire. This can reference how insidious depression is, but it also refers to sexual dysfunction. “Let it lie”, another way of wording giving up, is a rather sad and literal description of flaccid male anatomy, specifically when it is the case that a continued lack of exposure is the cause. Towards the end of the second line, ambient guitar licks of perfect fifths migrate to major sixths as a sweet but isolating sentiment, and towards the end of the fourth line, minor tenths migrate to octaves to indicate the point of no return, while a background vocal emulates weeping down the scale of G major to create a sense of bittersweet and nostalgia. In the video promos for the song, this musical section is visualized with a depressive green overlay that contrasts a bright pink palette that enters later. The last word of the verse, “but”, is delivered like a last breath.

I can't help myself
Although it makes no sense
And I think I'd repent
But I can't feel my legs

The next stanza responds with tragic yet optimistic protest. Sparce percussion comes in like a fluttering heart and a poignant guitar melody guides the way. Despite such a severe estrangement from nature that it makes no sense to try, and despite poisonous ideation that there is a cause for repentance, nature persists, and, in fact, prevails. “Repent”, beginning on minor, ends in major and drops a minor sixth against chilly minor seconds in the score, and a crescendo in the delivery of the vocal provides a glimpse of what’s to come in the chorus. The fourth line is a play on words for not being able to fall to one’s knees and pray, being too consumed by pleasure and gratification to care, punctuated with piano notes that occupy the melody all the way down.

Guts
Please I must
Trust me
If you'll just
Let yours be mine

Paired with a sickeningly sweet melody, the chorus is written simplistically with as few words as possible because the frontal cortex is not the focus. On the word “must”, there is a descent of notes and exotic vocal crescendo that expresses surrender, and tritones, as in “Rose”, invoke mystery and wonder. This is about the back of the brain, the hindquarters, the insides of the body, the most animal parts of man. This is a plea for connection, a mating call in the vein of the “Rose” chorus, but even more vulnerable.

They say not to let our fear
Stop us from feeling all our years
And when our chances pass us by
We learn the reason as to why

The fourth verse revisits a cornerstone of the album from Call Me by Your Name, about not allowing pain to hinder new experiences. “Rose” also calls upon this theme in its metaphor of the rose and its thorns.

I'm just not content
With where my time has went
I can't be young again
But I can try my best

As a continuation of the thought, the second hook confesses regret and seeks to make up for lost opportunity by being present. This hook has slightly more instrumental girth than the first, with a warm pad toggling a minor second in the background, an uncharacteristically rich harmony on the word “again”, and a more present vocal belt as a precursor to the climax of the song.

Guts
Please I must
Trust me
If you'll just
Let yours be mine

The next chorus is identical to the first, with exception to the end. On the word “mine”, it switches into E minor – the relative minor of G major – briefly alternating on the same two notes that the album began on in the song “Rose”. This becomes a bridge to the end of the song as well as a bridge to the rest of the album, reflecting on each part of the journey with a touching instrumental. The interlude resolves in a background vocal that sounds far away, and the last chorus breaks the silence with a completely naked vocal on the words “Please I”, followed by an explosion of sound on the word “must”, a mix-belt vocal starting from C5 meant to embody release. On the word “just” is a G6 whistle, nodding to the E6 whistle at the end of the “Rose” single, and with that, the album comes full circle.

The release of “Guts” was accompanied by six promotional videos that create a visual parallel for the song. It begins with a shot pulling through sun-filtered foliage and lands on sunbathed pink roses, as though “Star” was a daydream in a garden, the stars of the sky blooms of a rosebush. Since “Guts” returns to the forest, this is meant to be a similar sanctuary illustrated in “Rose”, except with brighter pink roses. The second video tells a story of two statues who are cast into decay due to daring to desire. In the context of the videos, this is also a more macabre take on the quote from Call Me by Your Name about lascivious statues daring their spectators to desire them. A subsequent stagnant green overlay lends to the punishing turn of events. The third video portrays the gaze of desire in first-person with glimpses of the male form, as though the statues are luring their observer into a garden of sin. This leads to the nether regions becoming the focal point as a flushed pink overlay precipitates over the scene in anticipation of the chorus. The fourth video spares no details in its exhibition of the body, with multiple cheeky angles and subliminal imagery of a pink rose next to a face miming analingus. One statue in particular, seated on a pedestal, boasts a comically large tuchus. After the fact, the fifth video is sobering, admitting lost youth, and drawing upon the central theme of Call Me by Your Name about not losing precious time to fear. The last and final video of the “Guts” videos, as well as the album videos, covers both the end of “Guts” and the end of the album of “Rose”. Starting from the fourth line of the chorus, it traverses the wilderness and returns to ground zero, the iron gate where it all began. With E minor as the guide, the bridge goes back in time, showing a red rose and a brunette man, an urban park and a rainbow in glass, a dreamy fireplace, a cathedral bathed in sunset, stained glass bleeding into the night sky, a red light pulsing in the dark, and a sun filtered through leaves of a rose garden. A piercing piano note returns and creates a perfect fourth with a pad, and without warning, the curtain is pulled back completely, exposing hyper-realistic renditions of the previous mementos, the true form of every song. The first is a brunette man made in the image of the muse of the album, marked forever by roses. He is not a statue because he was real and is the escort into the dream. The second is a winged angel with a fiery crown, identity obscured because it is beyond human comprehension. The third is a lustrous scarlet statue, as beautiful as he is brief. The fourth is a robust statue bloodied by rebellion. The fifth and sixth, related and sacrosanct, depict only the universe out of respect. And the seventh, pensive and evolved, is a statue meditating among light roses. In the span of seven seconds, this is the story of “Rose”. Finally, notes toggle between F# and G as for one last hurrah. Wrought iron, raging wildfire, shattering glass, high velocity blood, heaven, a super nova, and rustling pink roses send off the album to the credits, where only a distant voice remains.

The “Guts” cover art is a mixed-media rendition of a self-portrait. In the spirit of evolution and the exit of the dream, it is the only self-portrait on the album with the entire face revealed, cradled inside a rose with a pleasured but pensive expression on his face. His neck is like its stem and his hair bends with its pedals as he wakes. Young and bright, this is only the beginning. This is the photograph of “Guts”.

Accompanying the release of “Guts” was the following poem, tying its theme and release month together: In the penultimate month of November, we begin to reflect on past moments; the flowers of May, the flames of June, the sparkles of July, the leaves of August, the sapphires of September, the stars of October, knowing that the pleasure, and the pain, are part of making new ones.
Chapter 7: Guts


The Rose Album

The “Rose” album consummated on December 31st, 2023, when all seven singles were officially arranged, in order of their original release, on the “Rose” album, amounting to 32 minutes and 25 seconds of play time. The album art reuses the title single cover art with a wispy signature superimposed on the bottom, since the “Rose” single is where the album was born. The story of Rose The “Rose” album is written in shades of red – the color of my hair – each a pedal of a rose, a slice of my brain, and a chapter of the story of my introduction. Beginning in May of 2023, one single was released each month episodically, like chapters of a book. In order, this was, “Rose”, a romantic red rose, “Flame”, an inferno that followed the forest of Rose, “Diamond”, a mineral born of immense heat, “Blood”, the essence spilled for precious items, “Lucy”, the skin of my late familiar licked raw due to her hyper aesthesia, a reminder of the things that, unlike material items, are invaluable, “Star”, a celestial body in the Red Giant phase of death found over Lucy’s bridge to the universe, and “Guts”, the product of stardust. These releases were accompanied by batches of poems and video content to help progress the story, until the album of “Rose”, with all seven singles assembled, was released in December 31st, 2023. The cover art for each song repurposes a self-portrait from my past, obscured to promote the aesthetic of a dream, while also building so that only the final cover art, representing the end of the dream and personal growth, shows my entire face. On social media, verdant banners welcome the audience into the dream, and seven months of visually and sonically cohesive content cascade like walls of ivy, amounting to a unique campaign and a compelling portfolio. I am proud to say that, despite it being my first ever single and first ever album, “Rose” represents a seamless time capsule of my journey, as well as a distinct vision in a competitive era with intercontinental potential. And it is not the end of the story.


Music Videos

“Rose” isn’t complete without the music videos for each single, already scripted from top to bottom. These would have biblical production value in comparison to the supplementary material, albeit charming, attached to each release. Sadly, this part of the story is on ice. Although it may be counterintuitive in an opus whose premise is creating opulent gardens from potted plants for me to complain about lacking the means to execute all of my ideas, maybe it is a blessing that I can’t close this door yet, just like it was a blessing that I couldn’t open that gate then. In the spirit of practicing what I preach, it is my hope that, as I dream uninhibited, and live, hopefully the same way, I find that key.

Until then,

- Thomas Bernard Howard